Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Out of the Psych Ward

My breakdowns usually take place over the holidays and it was no surprise when the men with the meds showed up to haul me away. My mother said she'd had enough and setting a few of the Christmas presents ablaze apparently was enough to have her first born locked away for a month.

They didn't allow internet access at the hospital. Something about communicating with outside influences could have negative effects on my recovery. What are you supposed to do with all that free time if internet shopping and online dating are out of the question? Can you imagine - "What do you like to do for fun?" A potential online pursuer may ask. "Oh, nothing much. I like to spend my free time staring out hospital windows, wondering if the bird sitting on a rain soaked branch is enjoying life more than me. I also enjoy being filled with so many meds that constipation becomes as much a part of my life as free time.

They don't let you read books. They don't let you see your family much. Your days are spent staring and talking in therapy. I don't know how many times one person can be asked, "Lisa, what's wrong? What are you thinking?"

I'm thinking. I'm thinking. I want to go home, get off these meds, and get on with my life, and you're holding me back.

8 comments:

Hillary St. Pierre said...

I love your writing. Do it to it. I love that you openly talk about your "man problems." I've been told I have "dady issues" more than once, but the woman who are the most fun always do ;)

Grand Pooba said...

I was wondering if you were still alive! Glad your outta the slammer so to speak. Never was able to get myself admitted before, I guess burning of christmas presents does the trick?

Now you've got to fill us in on the last two months.

One Hypo said...

Hillary - Thank you! It's my main source of sanity. And I have many man issues.

Grand Pooba - I couldn't wait to get back. I missed everyone! I will have lots to write about. Like how I'm not living at home but with an old woman down the street from my parent's house.

Bandanna Club said...

Welcome nack online

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Loved the comment you left today about the teenager IMing me without any vowels. I'm just scratching my head, though, wondering why you'd ever want to read my blog because I can't believe you'd be interested in an old, Christian mom blogger. I'm thinking you've must've found me by accident. You're very witty, and I am indeed appreciative of your comment today.

Vodka Mom said...

I would TOTALLY follow you if i could- instead I am subscribing. RIGHT NOW!!!

svasti said...

Wow, I'm sorry to hear about your stint 'inside'. Damn well-meaning people who know nothing!

Hope you're on the way to feeling better!

Wade L Bittle said...

There's always a certain good feeling about getting out of a psych ward. Were you at the type in the hospital or ina private health center...? How long were you in there...?

I think the next time I go in I'll probably be in as long as you were.

When you talked about internet access it caught my eye because Im a techie and I came to that exact same conclusion that using a computer must have negative effects.

I also relate to your ponderance on the birds life on the outside compared to yours on the inside. I come from a background of backcountry skiing and I was there staring out the window when a ton of snow fell. I was really longing to be on the slopes in the mountains.