Thursday, December 4, 2008

Fatty Patty

A woman walked into the store where I work and I recognized her immediately. We went to the same high school and she used to call me names and tell the other kids that I have genital warts. She was a cow then and she's still a cow today, MOO!!! She used to have the other cows gang up on me because they were jealous of my ability to fit into normal sized jeans. I stood and waited for her to approach, wondering if she'd remember me.

"Hi, Lisa!" She said as if we were long lost friends. I wanted to take the pen from the counter and stuff it into her thick neck but I didn't want her spraying butter all over my counter. I'm not adding cleaning to my list of duties at the rate this store pays me.

"Hi, Patty," I said and wanted to add fatty as a prefix.

"I thought you went to college," she said and pulled her face into a contorted position as if she were passing an extra large turd.

"Yeah. I did but I dropped out."

"That's too bad," she said and walked away.

I hate fatty patty...


Girl Interrupted said...

Any idea how many times I have wanted to write a post exactly like this one? Loved it! I find that it is a whole lot easeier to vent on the keyboard, than it is on people. Perhaps not quite as fun, but you know? Thank you for reading my blog!-V

One Hypo said...

I love this new vent thingy!!! I sooo love blogging.

Cassoulet Cafe said...

Fatty Patty is a cow. Moo.