Thursday, December 11, 2008

Blowies for the holidays

My friend, Amanda, really gets under my funny bone and gives it a good tickle from time to time. Amanda and I have been friends since grade school and were inseparable up until the day she joined the military and moved away. We still keep in touch as much as possible, be it in letters, phone conversations, or email exchanges. I received the following email the other day.

Lisa,

Times are tough this holiday season with the economy and all, but I'm still handing out as many presents as possible here at the base. I spent most of my money on gifts for friends and family, which can get expensive when you send everything through the mail, but I've never been one to shy away from giving. So the boys on base decided to do a Secret Santa and I was all for it, except for one thing, I'm broke. I'm the only female in the exchange so I decided to improvise. I told the boys if they get me in the exchange, I'll be giving one blowie as a gift. You should have seen their jaws drop when I mentioned it to them. Jack, the youngest in the exchange, turned a shade of red matched only by Santa's outfit when he heard what I'd be giving as a gift. I'm guessing it will be a quick present if he gets me in the exchange. He doesn't look a day over 18 and there's no way he's ever stuck his Willy into anything. I'm actually hoping for Jack. He better give me one hell of a gift or I'll be spitting. Oh well, hope things are all good at the store. I can't wait to see you again so I can have some real fun for a change.

P.S. - I remember you mentioning something about some new writing thing you're doing on the web. If I know you, which I do, you'll most likely write about this. Please don't use my name or pictures. Besides that, have a ball!

I love my friend, Amanda...

16 comments:

Girl Interrupted said...

That is freakin hilarious! I may have to steal her idea! I'm broke as a joke right now too.-V

Christa said...

Blowie - never heard it called THAT before!

Interesting gift idea but I don't think my parents would appreciate it.

I better stick with cookies and coupons for FREE bathroom cleaning!

Christa at Giggle On!

One Hypo said...

Girl Interrupted: You can steal it, Amanda won't mind. Like she said, she's a giver.

Christa: Amanda has very strange terminology for a lot of things. "The Task" is what she's been calling sex for as long as I can remember. She says it's her favorite task because it usually doesn't take long.

DB said...

My grandma had an idea like that a few years back. Best Christmas EVER!

I'm kidding.

It wasn't that great.

Bulldog said...

She should have said "a gift of up to, and possibly including a blowie", because let's face it, as the only only female in a bunch of fellas, there's a good chance she's going to end up with a fishing reel or inflatable moose. personally, I wouldn't get my jugs out for anything less than an x-box.

One Hypo said...

DB: HaHa! Teeth in or out? Don't even respond. That's too gross even to imagine.

Bulldog: ROTFLMAO! You're right. Maybe I'll mention it in the email. She may get screwed in more places than she thinks.

Anna Lefler said...

Oh, MAN. I thought I knew the true meaning of Christmas, but...

(I'm trying SO HARD not to make a roasting chestnuts joke right now. That's a sign of my personal growth, right?)

Hilarious post!

:^) Anna

Phil said...

Very funny letter. Hope "Amanda" is not your friend's real name :-)

Keep up the blogging - your doing great. It's fun and good therapy.

Girl Interrupted said...

"The Task" I might steal some more of Amanda's words and ideas? lol I love the back and forth of this blog, good job!-V

One Hypo said...

Anna: We had a friend growing up, Chester, and we always sang to him, "Chester's nuts, roastin on an open fire."

Phil: Thank you. Actually, it is her real name but there are a lot of Amandas out there.

Girl: Thank you, Girl. I can't believe the early comments to the blog. I'm loving this blogging. Who knew Amanda's quarky sayings would be such a big hit all these years later.

derfina said...

*snort* Are you SURE her name is Amanda? I have a friend who's been known to introduce herself to guys as "Hi, my name is _______ and I swallow!"

Orr's said...

Hahahahahahaha!! That was great! Seriously? I can't tell if she is kidding or not:)

Either way, I love your friend Amanda too!

And I'm glad my husband isn't in the service!

Grand Pooba said...

Woops, I just posted using my sister's log in above (The Orr's) But I'm sure she would have said the same thing I did!

And I've never heard it called a blowie either! BJ is my jargin of choice.

And you might want to tell Amanda that they like when you spit ;)

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Add me to the list of people who never heard it called a "blowie".

Oh Amanda, Amanda, Amanda. Good thing you didn't use her name.

One Hypo said...

Defina: I think Amanda has introduced herself in this fashion.

Orr and Grand Pooba: There are girls like Amanda everywhere, not just the military. Like when you spit? I may have to move to where you live.

Nanny Goats: I thought blowie was the new thing. Oh well, it will be in no time.

Yaya said...

A Secret Santa blowie! Awesome!
It totally fits with the theme from my work as well, its Green.
I mean, it has no packaging, uses local resources and has the potential for reuse. It's not quiet within the £5 limit though.... maybe just a hand job on a Christmas discount then?