The lint child

"You look marvelous, darling."

I stood in front of the mirror and positioned the fur hat on my head. I believe it was the corpse of a silver fox and I couldn't help but think of how ridiculous it is that a poor fox had to die so I can entertain myself in front of the mirror when I should be helping customers.

"Lisa! Can you wait on some customers?" The speaker box yelled from the counter. It's not a real speaker box but actually my boss. She constantly yells so I've assigned her with a proper name and nothing annoys me more than large speakers mounted on the wall. I think this annoyance started in high school when it became the messenger who summoned me to the Principal's office on a regular basis. I spent so much time with the principal that some parents thought I was his secretary. Ya right! Like I'd ever get that man coffee.

I set the hat on the table with the other corpses and walked towards the woman carrying a baby. I chose her because her child carried a large piece of lint on its shoulder and my obsessive compulsiveness would not allow this child to continue its life as a lint catcher. I plucked the piece of lint from the child's reindeer sweater and released a small shriek when the lint turned out to be a thread, which turned out to be connected to the sweater, which happened to create a tiny hole and a larger piece of thread.

"Why I never!" The woman shouted and walked out the door.

I guess some people don't know how to handle kindness during the holidays...

Fatty Patty

A woman walked into the store where I work and I recognized her immediately. We went to the same high school and she used to call me names and tell the other kids that I have genital warts. She was a cow then and she's still a cow today, MOO!!! She used to have the other cows gang up on me because they were jealous of my ability to fit into normal sized jeans. I stood and waited for her to approach, wondering if she'd remember me.

"Hi, Lisa!" She said as if we were long lost friends. I wanted to take the pen from the counter and stuff it into her thick neck but I didn't want her spraying butter all over my counter. I'm not adding cleaning to my list of duties at the rate this store pays me.

"Hi, Patty," I said and wanted to add fatty as a prefix.

"I thought you went to college," she said and pulled her face into a contorted position as if she were passing an extra large turd.

"Yeah. I did but I dropped out."

"That's too bad," she said and walked away.

I hate fatty patty...

The beginning of Hypomania

Why did I start this blog? Maybe to vent behind closed doors or maybe to self-medicate. Life is so confusing and I want someone to provide me with the answers, but nobody can. I'm the small insect fighting against the sinking water of the tub. I'm trying to escape but the spinning water continues to pull me deep into the abyss.

I don't know how long I'll write. Maybe this project will be tucked away like so many in my past. It can take residence beside the homemade jam stand I started in my youth, or next to the scooter I bought and never rode. It was such a good idea at the time but now it collects cobwebs. Cobwebs make sense. They've filled my mind for so long and I'm not sure if these thoughts are my own.

Maybe today is a good day to stop taking my meds. I need my thoughts back but the medications steal them from me. Maybe the doctors are wrong. Maybe they are the ones in need of medication. Maybe humans are supposed to think this way.

Maybe...