Saturday, December 6, 2008

The lint child

"You look marvelous, darling."

I stood in front of the mirror and positioned the fur hat on my head. I believe it was the corpse of a silver fox and I couldn't help but think of how ridiculous it is that a poor fox had to die so I can entertain myself in front of the mirror when I should be helping customers.

"Lisa! Can you wait on some customers?" The speaker box yelled from the counter. It's not a real speaker box but actually my boss. She constantly yells so I've assigned her with a proper name and nothing annoys me more than large speakers mounted on the wall. I think this annoyance started in high school when it became the messenger who summoned me to the Principal's office on a regular basis. I spent so much time with the principal that some parents thought I was his secretary. Ya right! Like I'd ever get that man coffee.

I set the hat on the table with the other corpses and walked towards the woman carrying a baby. I chose her because her child carried a large piece of lint on its shoulder and my obsessive compulsiveness would not allow this child to continue its life as a lint catcher. I plucked the piece of lint from the child's reindeer sweater and released a small shriek when the lint turned out to be a thread, which turned out to be connected to the sweater, which happened to create a tiny hole and a larger piece of thread.

"Why I never!" The woman shouted and walked out the door.

I guess some people don't know how to handle kindness during the holidays...

7 comments:

svasti said...

Fantastic post!! I know that exact urge though. Its the same one I have when I see people with tags sticking out of the back of their tops.

I have to remember to tell myself strangers would be perturbed by another stranger walking up and touching them, even if its just to tuck that clothing tag in!!

I'm going to enjoy reading your vents, I can tell...

One Hypo said...

I know there are many women who suffer from "our" disorder when it comes to problems with clothing.

I look forward to you reading.

Bulldog said...

I don't know what a lint is, but if I ever see a kid with a lint stuck on it, I'll prob'ly leave it there. I'm a coward like that.

One Hypo said...

This might be a good move because some children bite.

Girl Interrupted said...

My Mother did that once and the entire sleeve came off the dress I had just made. Luckily we laughed about it. Some people, like your customer, have no sense of humor!-V

One Hypo said...

Girl - At least your mom had a new tank top for the summer -hahaha!

Cassoulet Cafe said...

again, hilarious! this totally would happen to me, if I ever had the guts enough to pluck some lint off a stranger's baby.